Amazing. Crazy. Fantastic.

Well, I've done it. I've gone back to America. I felt so excited looking out the window as north eastern Canada came into view...I have so missed living in this part of the world. Despite its faults, my feet feel more grounded here, my heart feels anchored here! Every time my yoga/cooking/health business would pick up in England, I would start to feel frozen: “If I get something great going here, then that will tie me to this place and that's not what I want!”  Ironically, as soon as I committed to do something about this feeling – either to move back part-time, full-time or to do some travelling – my business picked up, enabling me to save up a small nest egg to get started here.

And at the same time, what a wonderful time I've had in England! Never have I had such amazing female friendships. Never have I been able to give so much to others and make such a positive difference in people's lives. The cards, hugs and parting words from yoga students, cooking students, friends and colleagues gave me such gratitude that I can do something that helps others, makes them feel good, improves their quality of life.

I also feel so grateful that I've made this move, despite not having a job to move to, and having to spend time away from a wonderful partner and kitty.  I think there are so many people who, like me, have a burning desire in their heart that seems too impractical, expensive, unconventional, or “I'm too old” or “what would people say?” and so we compromise on our desires. Sometimes that's necessary – but in my case, it was only fear that was in my way, so after (at least) two years of thinking about it, I signed up to be a student at Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts in Manhattan (What on earth is a School of Womanly Arts, you say? More on that in a moment), to give me a great reason to move back, as well as a huge community of positive, innovative, successful women to join.  I will be spending this time to exploring my dream and desire to work as an artist – a lifelong dream, and something I've been terrified to commit myself to – and also to find my own rhythm again, enjoy the art and culture of New York, and see what it's like to be an American after five years away. I've been here since 15^th March and it's brilliant!

I am one of 250 students at the School of Womanly Arts MASTERY PROGRAM, created and taught by Mama Gena (Regena Thomaschauer), with some absolutely amazing guest speakers, including Dr. Christiane Northrup, Cheryl Richardson, Debbie Rosas, Sheila Kelly, Barbara Stanney and more. I've had some funny questions: “Do they teach you to cook and clean?” (SLAP!) “Is that how to please your man?” (NO, it's learning to be the primary source of your own pleasure, and I'm talking generally, not necessarily sexually!) “Is that, like, stripping or something?” (No, at least, not for men! But there is dancing!).

It covers the areas of relationships and sensuality, finances and career, health, self-esteem and confidence (something I think almost all women need much more of!), dancing (as you can see above!), and much more. The whole idea is to discover and pursue your desires, no matter how outrageous, from a place of fun and pleasure, and throw the “no pain no gain” model out the window like a moldy old apple core. It's women learning to take care of themselves exceptionally well, filling their own cup so that they have true inner reserves from which to give to the world. Leaving self-doubt and second-guessing and fear behind. It's a school where you learn to feel confident and beautiful regardless of how you measure up to conventional standards of beauty. Where you learn to have fun and celebrate life no matter what, while at the same time embracing your dark side, your anger, and learning to “party with your inner bitch” in a healthy way that isn't self-destructive or hurtful to others (I'm particularly curious about this skill).

There are activists, artists, actresses, coaches, CEOs, financial advisors, singers, photographers, nutritionists, mothers, students, lawyers, business leaders, teachers and more. We take lots of dance breaks, instead of listening to lecturers and taking notes until our wrists ache and our heads loll forward with sleepiness. We will be going out on the town in NYC en masse, going out to lunch in groups, spending one of the five long workshop weekends at Miami Beach, Florida. The course is for women of any age, sexual orientation, shape, size, economic background, stage of life, regardless of whether or not she feels fabulous at the time. Sound good? Check out the school's website, they also have a virtual program if you live far from NYC and don't feel like moving here.  It is truly cutting edge. The first weekend blew me away, and believe me, I was sceptical.  I was thinking, "This better be worth it, damn it. I've paid a lot of money. I've moved my ass all the way across the Atlantic. I am going to be PISSED if this is disappointing or feels overpriced for what I get." I am beyond pleased with my decision to sign up. I highly recommend it. Reserved it is definitely NOT. In fact, the SWA is purposefully outrageous, blow-the-top/roof/lid-off, pink feathers and glitter, out of this world, fabulous, magnificent, shocking. It's shaking everyone up. But it's also sincere, true, generous, real and profound.

Now, onto life in New York. I met my now roommate on my first day here. Regena Thomaschauer (Mama Gena) cried out, in the classroom on March 17^th, “Where's the woman who moved here from England??” and I yelled, “Meeeeeeeeee!!!” She handed me the mic and I told everyone how jetlagged but thrilled I was, and how I didn't have anywhere to live after the 26^th but that I was sure I would find a wonderful place. Then, during lunch, a lovely young lady told me that she was a grad student at NYU styding public health policy and nutrition, and that she wanted to turn her 1-bedroom in the east village into a 2-bedroom and get a roommate. I had a great feeling about it, and about her.

Long story short, I moved in on the 26^th and never had to do a SINGLE MINUTE of apartment hunting! We share the kitchen and a small living space, and with the addition of a big curtain, the living room divides nicely into a second bedroom, without anyone having to walk through someone else's bedroom to get to the bathroom, kitchen, or anything like that. The apartment has great natural light, a gas stove (yay!), and is on East 10^th Street. Basically my dream neighbourhood: the villages in lower Manhattan are absolutely fantastic, it's easy to walk to so many places, and the tasty affordable food is ALL AROUND US!  Mexican street food, vegan Vietnamese, a Venezuelan arepas bar, one of the oldest Italian bakeries in the city, a gluten-free bakery, a dairy-free ice cream shop, tons of amazing cafe's to work in, tons of adorable bohemian wine bars, the Union Square Farmer's Market a 10-minute walk away, many sushi joints, organic/local restaurants, oh the list goes on and on.

I thought I had until the 27^th to move in, but then realized I had my dates wrong, and needed to move in on the 26^th. I learned this on the night of the 25^th, and so I had 24 hours to procure a bed, a computer monitor (to do some remote work for my two-day-per-week day job in England) and a small desk, plus get my luggage to the east village from my temporary spot in Brooklyn. Luckily, my roommate was fine with my early arrival. My friend Katy found someone who needed to give away a big airbed (fancy air mattress); a guy down the street in the east village was selling a used, small, nice monitor; and I saw a small desk on the street a few blocks away, light enough to carry home, not fancy but adequate and free. So, miraculously, within the space of 24 hours, I moved into a room in the east village with everything I needed to be set up and working remotely at 6:30 a.m. on the 27^th.   I was overwhelmed and shocked and relieved and grateful, needing at times to stop and take a deep breath.   I was also exhausted: lugging things all over the city, wondering at each step of the way how the hell I was going to make it happen, and feeling in awe of how it all came together.

My roommate and I are having a ball: we are both total foodies and love cooking for each other. She also sings and performs, loves the private yoga classes I'm giving her, we both dance, and she dreams of teaching cooking classes (she really ought to be doing this – she's an amazing cook!). It's been great living with someone who is also a student at the SWA.  We're up til midnight talking, most nights.

I have already been back to the singing teacher I studied with from 2004 – 06, who I will work on some songs with for auditions.  I hope to do a few fun, impromptu performances at the piano bars in Manhattan where anyone can get up and sing.  I also had new headshot photographs taken by Debora Lopez, the amazing woman who took my pictures in 2003 and gave me a great reapeat-customer deal. She works with tons of working actors, authors and more.  It felt so glamourous and FUN FUN FUN and RIGHT to work with her. I will be able to use the photos for headshots, for professional portraits on LinkedIn, for anything professional.  This is my "smiley" one:

In other good news, I've been asked to be a blogger for the online community of the School of Womanly Arts.  Probably thousands of women, students present, past and future from all of the school's various programmes are on the site, and there are only three bloggers at a time, for three months at a time.  I'm told it's quite an honour, and it is something I was not looking for or expecting, especially as a new student. I'm really looking forward to sharing more of myself with this huge community of amazing women and seeing what it brings, as well as stirring up some adventure in NYC with my fellow students to create material for my blog. Sorry I can't share it with you, it's a members-only site for just the ladies! But if any women want to join the online community and practice bragging, being grateful and talking about your desires, and having other women encourage your dreams, your outrageousness, and being exclusively positive and supportive of you, then visit www.sistergoddess.com.

I think that's all for now. Sending everyone love from New York City! I hope to continue posting about health and food, but I wanted you all to know what I'm up to...AS CRAZY AS IT MAY SOUND. Over and out, lovely people. xx